What A Dick I Was Before

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Not certain why I chose that title just yet but hoping it will come to me as I write.

As I study and listen, actually hear, what my studies are telling me, I acknowledge just how LITTLE I paid attention before to those around me. I didn’t need the books as much as I needed to absorb from those standing right before me, and now I ask for it expecting it to be there still.
What a dick I was before!

Or perhaps I think I was only hired at the time because I had the look. I was a young woman sommelier which was something still very fresh in the eyes of the wine buying public. Not that I am stating this was the sole reason, but definitely part of it as I had no knowledge of this wonderful world of wine. I actually couldn’t have even told you where Chablis was on a map, but I did like humans, and I liked them so much that I had a chance with the service aspect of it all, something I can admire in mySelf.
But still, what a dick I was before!

I think the dick reference point could also come from the same feelings I had in high school. lol…I was not popular, not unpopular, but a staple around and was friendly and jumped at the opportunity to insert myself into ALL social groups. I had no judgements but like many decks blended into the mix. The same went for me in the beginning of my career, though being the dick that likes to stand proud and out. This made me appear stronger than I truly was and in turn perhaps was not always offering the best to the guest; not because I didn’t care but because I didn’t know enough and didn’t ask enough questions or listen to what was being freely shared.

This is not a downplay of the prizes of my journey thus far, but rather a just acknowledgment of how exciting it is to learn and become smarter at a craft when the efforts and community are with you. And a sincere apology to any past guests for my misguided sales and enthusiasms.

But my greatness, what a dick I must have been before!